Trolls……when you hear the term some people will think of a creature out of Lord of The Rings or maybe even a little toy with bright colored hair and a jewel in its stomach. However if you’ve ever exsisted on the internet you know of yet another definition of trolls, people who deliberately cause tension and unrest in an online community strictly for their own amusement. While some may see this as “poking the bear” and nothing more then innocent playfulness I would argue that it sets back the discourse in not just wrestling but in general. Trolls will attack fans of a popular wrestlers or promotion just to pester and annoy said fans without actually believing what they are saying. I’ve personally never seen the “humor” in trolling and have found it to be debasing to the fan base and potentially a reason some fans might stay away from the industry as a whole…….however my fellow referee H. D. Daniels sees it’s another way and offers you these thoughts on trolls in wreslting and in life. 

The Best Gimmick: The Troll?

By: Referee H.D. Daniels

My name is H.D. and I’ve been called many things in my life.  Handsome, amazing, super-smart, bald.  My favorite thing I’ve been called?  A Troll.  My colleague Christopher Miles loves to call me a Troll.  This week he wants to talk about trolls on his podcast and I couldn’t resist the urge to write his article this week to promote it.  He doesn’t possess the necessary skills to write this masterpiece.

First, we must define who and what a Troll is.  You think you know, but do you know?  Every troll operates under three principles.  One: to make himself laugh.  Two: use that laughter to irritate the Mark so he can continue laughing.  Three: keep disrupting the norm until the laughter stops.  (p.s. you can search your social media machines with #JokesInHD for real laughter).  Rule 3 usually ends after the troll is satisfied, a.k.a: no longer hungry.  “Don’t feed the troll” remember?  Of course you don’t.  You love to feed the trolls.  You can’t help it.  And a professional troll can debate on any side of any argument.  If he’s feeling extra hungry he may even go after fellow trolls, but that takes real skill.  

What’s my favorite way to troll Miles?  That’s my secret.  Sometimes he doesn’t even know when it’s happening. Even if he does realize it, a troll doesn’t stop until he reaches Rule 3.

Why do a podcast about trolls?  Because Chris hates them.  He thinks they’ve infected the wrestling industry to the highest level.  He couldn’t be more wrong.  We need trolls.  Trolls spark debate, trolls make you think, trolls are entertainment.

There is one distinction that needs to be addressed.  Remember Rule 1: a troll behaves to have fun, there doesn’t even need to be an argument for a Troll to troll.  But there is a difference between a Troll, and someone who needs to be right in their argument.   It’s these people you see online that get you really mad, the ones you need to be aware of the most.  The “Real Fan”.  These are the Marks of the Troll.  

Do you think AEW is going to be successful or going to fail?  To a troll it doesn’t matter.  The Real Fan will argue his opinion until he is proven right, however.  He cares so much, it consumes his whole life to argue his side.

Let’s say the Real Fan predicts AEW will fail.  And let’s say it’s 5 years in the future and it really does fail.  The Real Fan would have been proven right and earned his bragging rights.  That’s all the Real Fan wants: to be right.  He has proven he is smarter than you are.  You are the idiot.  Guess who doesn’t care?  The Troll.  The Troll has been having a blast antagonizing the Real Fan for 5 years and enjoyed every single second.  The Real Fan thinks he won.  But the Troll really won, and the Real Fan doesn’t even realize it.  

Do you think the Bloodline storyline was a cinematic masterpiece that was not too long?  You might be a Real Fan.  Do you think Cody losing at Wrestlemania was a good decision?  You might be a Real Fan.  Do you think Roman Reigns not appearing every week makes his actual appearances more special?  You might be a Real Fan.  Do you think enhancement talent actually provides value to the show?  You might be a Real Fan.

The Troll is not your enemy.  The Troll is the greatest gimmick in wrestling.  Your true enemy is the Real Fan.  You have to watch out for Real Fans.  They’re just so sensitive and can be triggered at any moment.  The Troll is your hero.

This Thursday, Christopher Miles will discuss the Trolls and their influence on the wrestling industry during his podcast “Issues with Wrestling.” You won’t hear from me, there’s too many podcasts out there.  H.D. will just troll you from afar.

image credit: google images